A new start for our foster family

It is six and a half years ago, when Sue and Janet came to live with us. We had many nice times, like holidays in France and Britain, our families had accepted both of them, they found friends and enjoyed their freedom.

But finally, every-day life got the better of us. The symptoms of the multiple trauma from which Sue is suffering made life in our family unbearable. Something had to happen.

So I searched for hospitals with a department and medical staff for traumatic therapies. I made dozens of phonecalls, wrote letters, talked to doctors. It was the same everywhere. Clinics have a special supply area which they are assigned to. The clinic for our supply area, however, is lacking experience with traumatised children. So we had to abandon that possibility of helping Sue and taking her into our family after six weeks´ of treatment.

The next chance was to find a therapeutic housing group to accommodate her. Endless phone calls again. But everybody told me that there was no chance of accommodating her for the reason of lacking offers.

This was the most disappointing moment for me in all the years we were trying to help Sue. There was not the least of a chance.

Meanwhile, the problems increased. Janet threatened to leave if we didn´t do anything about the situation.

So we decided a week ago to give Sue into the custody of the youth welfare office. We talked to Sue and told her that it would be better for all of us if she left. She agreed. She helped packing clothing and most of her belongings. She appeared in my study, and asked if she could choose something of my belongings, and I gladly agreed. She also took with her the photos of our last holiday to Britain and some photos of our family. It all happened very quietly, we took her to the childrens´ home where she was welcomed warmly, and we left after a short farewell.

So it´s us three now, Janet still staying with us. The situation is still distressing, but it is quiet and peaceful now. Our psychological supervisor sonfirmed that it was the right step to take. We ar e still keeping contact to Sue, visiting her, and we have a perspective for her, as we have found a therapeutic housing group for her where she can live. It won´t be the end, and we have the support of the youth welfare office official in keeping up the relationship. So it seems that everything might turn out all right. What a relief for all of us! The next step will be finding a special therapyy for traumatised children, and we think that we can do that, as well.