You are probably stunned by the heading: Of course they should support the interests of our foster children. Why don´t they?
The last support plan meeting showed us that they don´t have a clue of what is going on in a family with traumatised children from desolate family backgrounds.
Our kids have watched a crime in their oririnal home. They have been subject to neglect during early childhood. And we know how important it is for them to get a special trauma therapy. As their biological mother has the right of custody, we are not allowed to decide on that. We are not entitled to decide on their place of residence, as well. The kids only live with us as long as their mother agrees. So theoretically, she could claim the children any time.
Our aim is to apply for the right of custody now. What a silly idea to send the kids back to their original home where they would have to live with a person who was the reason for all the pain they have gone through during early childhood. It would probably kill the personality of the kids, as it would mean a re-traumatisation.
On the other hand, the youth welfare office rejects our intention of not allowing the biological mother any meetings with her children. We know what it is doing to them, and how they suffer for weeks.
So, the support plan meeting was a mere nightmare. First of all, the youth welfare office rejected our right to bring along a person for our support, who is a member of the foster parent association of which we are members. Then they produced an expertise about the traumatisation of the kids which proposed a locked ward to make her talk about the traumatic situation. I refused that immediately; it would surely result in keeping her there until she would cooperate. I am sure we have done more for our kids upto now than any medical institution could ever do. And the seperation from our family would surely mean another traumatic experience.
The problem about the whole affair is that the people at the youth welfare office don´t have the knowledge which we acquire at workshops during our leasure time. They only argue from the legal position of the problem. That makes the solution of problems nearly impossible.
So please keep your fingers crossed for us that everything will turn out well.
On our motorbike tour in August, we spent a few days on the isle of Rügen. Rügen is famous for its steep coasts and a giant rock called "Stubbenkammer".
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