Crisis in education or just another symptom?

How would you deal with this situation?

You have spent a nice weekend at some relatives some hundred miles away, the children enjoyed it, and everything seems to be normal. Then, your sister phones you up to tell you that the sweets you have in stock have vanished over the weekend, or a DVD is missing. You start reconstructing the situation and find out that only your children can have taken them. At the best, your sister is sad and distressed, maybe even angry with you. This could lead to serious trouble, if it happened again.

As a matter of fact, this can always happen to you if your foster children are traumatised. They might want to make sure that there is always something to eat at hand, or they don´t even remember of taking away things.

Professional advice tells you that you have to put up with it and try to talk to your kids, as much as possible. you will find out that penalties don´t work to alter the situation. And you need very understanding friends and relatives. Sometimes even psycho-theraueutical measures don´t work.

It is a long way, and the worst case would be to abandon your foster children. This is every-day life.